Behaviors that Negatively Affect Marriage

While communication is the corner stone of any relationship, being able to clearly communicate the real issue is key along with listening and really allowing the other person be able to have the floor. The lack of proper communication results in mind reading expectations and misinterpretation. Another factor is the underlying monster called pride. Why is it so difficult for us to think about the needs of others along with, not just before, our own? And why does it take us so long to admit that a problem exists and when help might be needed?

The videos of the love lab and clips from the movie Fireproof demonstrated how difficult it can be to understand each other and align ourselves on the same page. There must be some thing in human nature that makes us think about ourselves and what makes us happy first. Maybe it is something to do with survival. Surviving the day, week, month, year, and sadly sometimes just life. In this state of mind, we often forget that we are not alone in these feelings. And therefore, we can turn our thoughts to our partners for support knowing that they we are all trying to make it through. At the end of the love lab video, when the couple was asked what they learned from the exercise, the husband stated that he realized that when asked to talk about their dreams, they only focused on their individual dreams and not their dreams as a united couple who have just merged their lives together. That does not mean that you lose your individual self because you are married, but your goals and dreams may change because you want your partner to be there with you in sharing the joy.

This lesson also demonstrated the power of words. This point, which we viewed in the clips from Fireproof, can be summed up with one statement. People may not always remember what you said or what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. I hope that the positive way that I made someone feel is the legacy that I leave behind in this life. I am not perfect but it is something that I strive for.